Thursday, March 19, 2015

I'm grateful...

It's been a while, a well need break from Jenn's life to figure out who I was, who I really wanted to be, and who I truly wanted by my side.

I found those things and I know who I want with me.

I am a daughter of God. He loves me no matter what mistakes I make. He loves me. He can heal my heart when people break it. He can help me remember how great of a mother I am! I am so great at standing up for them. In the last year I didn't put as much effort into being the momma bear I needed to be. I fought for them,but I could have fought more, I could have been louder!

I wasn't and that's okay. I accept that. We had a few other things going on in our home. Things I had to fight for. It was scary and stressful, and loud! Sometimes the only way to get. The people you love most to hear you is to be loud!

I hate being loud. I hate fighting. I hate contention! If I am frustrating you come talk to me. I will try not to get defensive. I would hope that you would do that to me too!

We are in the downward slope of the ride of life right now. In the middle of some very humbling trials. Ones that teach patience and selflessness.

I am blessed to have someone to hold on to, and takes care of me when I need it. Sometimes the old me holds on a little to tight but I am seeing more and more how much he does love us. It's amazing to see. I love Duane so much. He's been a god send in this trial we are in currently.

The Lord will help us walk us through the trials we have. He never leaves us. That I such an amazing thing to think about!

I just need to remember to put him first and he'll be there standing beside me. He's got my back, always. Satan has power to bruise our heal, yet we have the power to crush his head! What an amazing thought. He can't hurt me if I have the power to crush him. The Lord is so amazing. I am blessed to have an amazing family. I am so proud of my kids. They are constantly learning and growing up! Duane is my love. My eternal companion. We are working on meshing our personalities together. I wondered if we would make it, but this recent trial he has proved that he can handle some really tough times. He is taking care of me so well. I love him so much. I and setting a goal to not complain about things as much and try and find the good, the beautiful, the simple things, the Christ like moments, the moments when the spirit speaks to my heart. I will acknowledge them, and act on them.

I do know the Lord she's what's in our hearts and blesses us with those things he feels are for our best.